This is for the single ladies; for no girl in love willingly takes relationship advice, or guidance, from anyone.
But isn't experience the best teacher?
Well, having being in and never out of the market, these are the 9 lessons that I’ve taken, and wish every girl knew. Damn, I also wish I knew of them way earlier:
1. Don’t ever lend your boyfriend Money:
Did he lose his job? Maybe he’s in a fix? Or does he need a top up to complete a business transaction? Don’t be fooled. Before he gets to you, he should first go through his family, and friends, and bank, and mobile apps. Maybe he already does, and they’ve all blacklisted him, that’s why he’s coming to you. Very high chances he’ll never pay you back.
2. Never move In:
You’ve been seeing each other for a while now and things are getting nice, easy and serious. In fact, you spend more time in his place than yours. So, why keep paying two rents when you can just move in, RIGHT? Girl, DON’T. The moment you move in is when everything crumbles. And, irrespective of what he says, his place will always be his.
If it’s that’s good and serious, find a whole new house and move in together.
3. Always use Protection:
It’s not just about trust, or love, or safety, or how good it feels without. Protection aka safe sex ought to be a priority, always. This, you'll come to learn, is the best gift you can give yourself through your dating years.
4. Don’t take up wifey or maid Duties:
I hear he’s started introducing you as mamaa. Boy, don’t you love the sound of that? So what do you do? Take up the toils of a Proverbs 31 woman cos’ clearly, he’ll soon be slaughtering a goat for your ancestors before putting a ring on it. Again, Girl, DON’T. For heaven’s sake, play your role and be The Girlfriend. Not his Wife, not his Maid or his Mother.
5. Ensure that he has a Job:
No one can ever say it enough. If he’s some Scrub with no job, back off. Don’t hold on. Don't pray for him. Don't persevere. Don't practice patience. It’s a General Rule…if he has no means to make his dairy bread, he’ll also be incapable of providing for you, or your prospective future family. Applies to you too. If you’re broke, don’t date hoping you’ll land a Prince Charming who’ll rescue and take you to his castle.
You’ll be a liability, not Cinderella.
Also, get to know his work. A lot of them are nothing but well dressed and spoken crooks and cons.
6. Never invest Together:
Until his and your name appear in a certificate, don’t even think of co-investing. Investing with your boyfriend or fiancé is investing for his future wife; which most likely will be some woman very different from you.
7. Know his Friends:
Birds of a feather flock together. Thus, the fastest way to know your guy is by knowing his entourage. No matter how differently he stands out, if his crew has questionable character, so is his.
8. Have him introduce you to his Family:
Though okay to let him know of your close friends and maybe siblings, never introduce him to your parents…not until he himself does. It really isn’t a matter of pride or dominance; but’s it’s very important. Only take to your mama and pa’ a man who’s serious about your future together.
9. Never let him know how much you Make:
Usually, there’s two ways how this may go.
If you make enough, a lot or plenty, he’ll become a parasite, always asking to be bailed out, and you’ll never progress, and he’ll probably feel emasculated and try to take out his insecurities on you.
If you make little, he’ll belittle you, and may even ask that you quit your small job, and he'll provide you with a better life, and this, usually, is how control and abuse starts.
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