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The Nanny aka AUNTIE AKA THE HELP


‘By the time your baby turns 1, you’ll have gone through at least 10.’  Everyone told me, consoling me after I let go a second nanny in less than a month.


Their predications came true to the point where I started questioning my personality.  Was I too demanding?  My baby too annoying?  The hours too long?  The pay too little?  The food not enough?  My standards unattainable?

What made it worse was the comparison.  My sister has had only 3 nannies in over 10 years.  The first left to get married and the second to set up her own hair salon business.


How the heck does she do it?  I’m definitely not as demanding as she and there’s no debate on who of the two has a more charming personality.


But, there comes a time when you have to swallow your pride and take lessons, though in hesitation, and learn and re-learn that maybe you’re the problem and there are lots of ways people can’t stand being around you, no matter how much you pay them.


I am writing this hoping it helps moms and dads ensure that their nanny reports back in January after the Holidays and doesn’t block your number(s) or ghost you.


On that one day off she takes at the end of the week, my sister’s nanny comes back not to a load of dirty dishes in the sink and basketful of soiled clothes.  The kitchen is sparkling, laundry basket empty, house tidied up, babies bathed and supper ready to be served.  The girl is so happy to come back to work she even brings the kids ‘tamus’.


Over the long holidays like Christmas when she has to go to shags for days/weeks, she shopped for in plenty to bring to her family.  I felt this to be far too much but over the years it has become reciprocal and the nanny’s families does the same when she reports back to work after Christmas. 


One time the nanny got ill and was afraid to go to hospital due to the high cost – but then she learnt her employer enrolled her for NHIF immediately she got hired.  And no, her contributions don’t come out of her salary.


As soon as the kids start school, which nowadays is rushed and kids are sent off to school at 2 or 3 years, the nanny doesn’t finally get to binge on Nigerian films or catch up with other nannies on whose boss is ‘nyemearing’ them.  They identity a short course and start taking part time classes.  Everyone has dreams right?


Have you ever thrown your nanny a birthday party?  Bought her a gift?  Included her in travels – not as a nanny but a family member?  Given her salon money?  Visited her relation when ill? Give it a try!


I’ve never heard my nieces and nephews use that derogatory term; ‘mboch’.  It’s always auntie.  Auntie yangu.


The pay isn't much, but it's far more than most of her colleagues within her region make. Also, every new year she's assured of a salary increase. Only dictators argue that 'she eats all her meals here and never has to pay rent so I'm basically giving her money to save, which is more than I save myself.'


More often than not, she's given the freedom to choose what's to be on the menu. Just leave her some petty cash for her to buy the essentials. Taking notes from most women, they loathe that evening call asking, 'Mama Nani, leo napika nini supper?"


She's no Slave. She needs to work good hours, eat well, dress good, have friends, relax, get help... Just because she's the help don't mean your family can sit around and boss her around. Everyone within the household ought to chip in.


Uniforms are a Big No.

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I hear it countless times. 'My baby means the world to me. I'd give anything for my kids. They are the reason I work so hard...' Yet, we give so little yet take so much of the person we put in charge of watching over them.

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