These are the true stories adapted from three living families:
Residing in Kibera is a 38 year old woman, married to a man from Luhya-land, a mother of 8 children with the 9th on the way. Her husband is a casual labourer by day and moonlights as a night guard. She on the other works as a mama fua whenever she can find a kibarua.
What’s annoys many is why on earth is she still multiplying and filling the already full earth when she can barely afford to feed or clothe her HUGE family.
It’s simple: She remains hopeful that amongst all these children, a Joseph will arise and deliver them from this pitiful slum into a life of riches and splendor.
My uncle and auntie literally sold all their land to send their children to school. All of the 2 acres but a tiny strip that currently holds their house and probable burial ground. The 3 cousins who are barely surviving are constantly reminded that ‘nguru iricaga mbithi’. The boy is constantly shamed by the parents how there’s no space for him erect a simba and he better re-settle the parents to a bigger land soon while they still have the energy to till it. The girls on the other hand have chosen come-we-stay marriages out of fear that the in-laws will be heavily extorted if they initiate uthoni.
At first, I thought my neighbour just ‘clicked’ really well with her mother in law. The mom is ever around, sometimes spending nights over. She’s married to her son and have one child, a boy. Both have good jobs and were lucky to find an awesome nanny to care for their son.
Last week I made the mistake of welcoming her, my neighbour, into my home so she can top up her electricity token and that’s when all the frustrations came flowing.
The Mum-in-Love won’t leave them alone!
Whenever they attempt to move away, she follows them. She finds a house close-by and forwards their numbers to her new landlord so they can settle the rent. They also have to pay for the movers and every other expense incurred.
At their precious modern home, she’s always there barking orders at the nanny and re-arranging the house to her taste and satisfaction.
The couple gathered the courage to have a sit down with the parents; an intervention, and let them know the burden was too heavy for them, were heavily in debt and on the verge of going broke. The father said he was very okay relocating to the countryside and enjoy his retirement, but his trendy wife doesn’t do village.
‘Kama mko broke, mbona mtoto anasomea private school?’ She questioned.
These are mere examples of the insane standards and expectations set by African parents that drive their children to absolute poverty and bound them in financial chains they can never get rid of. The moment you leave home and start working, the parent’s feel it’s time to start paying them back.
I read the financial column on paper and constantly youngsters are grieving that they can’t afford to make ends meet because the salary they get is never enough to support them, their parents, siblings and relatives back home. And it’s not that these relatives can’t do without you. No. They sure can. They have pieces of land, cows, chickens, goats, farm crops and even businesses that can comfortably support them. But, ‘nguru iricaga mbithi’, and for so long as you are making money, they stand entitled that they have all the rights to siphon your earnings.
A friend mentioned how she thought she’d finally discovered the ultimate solution to evading black tax. The mother would call, say Hi, ask what she’s eating, then proceed to guilt her for eating good food yet they have nothing in the village. So, come planting season, she buys them all the farm inputs and relaxes, thinking it’s all over. Little does she know that she’ll be the one paying the workers to till, plant, weed, harvest, transport… do everything. And not just for this season, she’s now expected to do this every other season. Surprisingly, when she visits, there’s barely any grain to bring with her back to the city for the parents have a tender to supply the harvest to a local school.
If anything, black-tax is the one custom I never want to pass on to the next generation. Birthing children with anticipation that they’ll give you a better life needs to die with this generation, otherwise, it’ll be nothing short of a enslavement cycle that’ll bound us for life - and none of us will get to experience the beautiful life God intended for us.
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